I cannot decipher what I’m feeling right now. Turning 21 in a matter of days and honestly I don’t feel the hype. No fancy parties, no pricey gifts. Some say it’s the “coming of age” and others say “freedom”. But I’ve always had freedom so it doesn’t make any difference.
I feel the pressure- the pressure of being an adult. The countless responsibilities and I still feel like I’m not ready. For what- I do not know. I guess as you grow older, people expect more of you; to do more, to know more, to give more, everything-more.
And every birthday, I always want to see a change in myself be it outward or inward. I’m going to be a year older yet I am still so insecure about everything. And I am not displaying the traits I ought to display. I’m so unhappy and disappointed with myself.
Oh Lord…………
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